by Teresa Costa 
I am on a plane to Italy finally writing about my Nanpantan Hall Mindfulness Retreat experience. The day before the start of the Retreat, a problem arose that nearly convinced me that I should stay at home and sort it out. Instead, I decided to go following my daughter’s encouragement. Somehow I knew that staying at home was not the cure and would not address the source: myself. 
Nanpantan Hall, my retreat experience
The Retreat had run smoothly, nothing felt difficult. I enjoyed every day; the silence, the compassion meditations and the time spent mindful walking and stretching.The meals were delicious and I truly enjoyed sitting together as a community. The problem I brought to the retreat was gradually shrinking. Mindfulness had helped me to increase the confidence I needed in order to attract the solution. I was quite pleased with myself. 
On Friday, the last day, I woke up to a different mood: I was grumpy, anxious and unsettled. An awareness of fear surfaced. My mind was desperately looking for a space where I could feel safe and looking for a solution to the impermanence of life. 
As I was lost in these thoughts my eyes were screening the outside landscape of Nanpantan Hall Grounds. A strong wind was shaking the trees whose branches were bent towards the ground, grey clouds were running in the sky ready for the rain. For a moment I realised my inner state matched the external landscape. I started feeling slightly worse. Out there it did not feel safe. I focused on my breathing and it helped, but the wave of fear would return, so I decided to surrender to it. 
An insight opened my awareness whilst I was watching this mighty nature shaken by the wind and dulled by rainy, grey clouds: the wind blows today and not tomorrow and so does the rain. The next day it will be sunny again. 
I could feel peace inside me and a sense of life that was extended beyond the confines of my self. 
Teresa Costa 
Mindfulness Teacher trained at Mindfulness cic 
Tagged as: Retreats, Teresa Costa
Share this post:

Leave a comment: 

Subscribe to Blog Updates 

Enter your details below to sign up to receive blog updates by email. 
Our site uses cookies. For more information, see our cookie policy. Accept cookies and close
Reject cookies Manage settings